Happiness is what everyone looks forward to during the holidays. However, the time leading up to the holidays can still greatly affect people’s subconscious and how they view family and everything else! What emotions and beliefs do you associate with particular people, events, memories, situations, and experiences? How do you react to these during the holidays?
Roberto Assagioli, a famous Italian psychiatrist, and pioneer in the fields of humanistic and transpersonal psychology says, “Thought is an energy, an unseen but real power. Thought lies at the back of everything we do: building our attitudes, our relationships, and our whole way of life. In the world of the mind are born the practical beginnings of everything that eventuates on earth.” It’s important to discover what thoughts and beliefs you hold in your subconscious mind.
Fear equals stress, conflict, anger, resentment, guilt, jealousy, shame, violence, etc. If you have any of the following feelings, you are living in fear. Don’t let fear be the master of your life!
During holiday times stressful situations can cause your energy to get stuck. It restricts the natural flow of energy and can become toxic.
This stuck energy reduces the flow of oxygen in the body and triggers physiological changes that engage your survival mechanisms. This, in turn, creates hormonal and blood sugar deviations that directly affect your adrenal glands and immune system.
So how can you be happy? Understand that fear destroys. It zaps your energy, paralyzes, steals confidence, overwhelms reason, and is addictive. When you react in a fearful way, your fight or flight mechanism kicks into gear, your energy is short-circuited, and stress is the result.
Fear overwhelms reason and steals confidence. Fear overwhelms reason because it trains the subconscious mind to respond through habit rather than your brain’s intellect, thus the fight or flight response is stimulated at inappropriate times and in unsuitable ways. Fear is addictive.
Dr. Anthena Staik says, “At the root of all addiction is a fear of intimacy, in particular, an intimate knowing of self.” Fear is addictive because it causes a hormonal secretion that continually stimulates the pleasure area of the brain. Dr. Staik goes on to say, “Though toxic thoughts paint images of self and others with colors of lack, gloom or failure, subconsciously they are protective strategies that get activated automatically in our defense when something triggers us. Thus, our body associates them with pseudo ‘feel good’ feelings that lower our anxiety, albeit in ineffective, quick-fix ways.”
Fear is a great teacher. When you encounter stressful situations, they are pointing out a lesson or challenge in your life that needs to be addressed. What was said or done to elicit your anger, fear, or danger?
How did you perceive the situation? Was there a different way to see it or respond? Did you truly listen to what the other person was saying or doing or was it old belief patterns that caused your reaction to rear its head?
It’s very important to understand that hearing is different than listening. Listening is being present long enough to truly observe the situation, actually, listen to what the other person is saying, and sense what they might be feeling or hearing. What caused the shift in attitude? Do you sense a solution arising?
Mindful listening allows you to move into modifying or correcting a situation, for you and the other person. Your ego-mind might say, “Gosh, he really needs to get a grip.” But, if you come from a deeper place of mindfulness and compassion, you will genuinely desire to rectify the issue that separates you and the other person.
Wherever you place your attention, the energy will be amplified. If you concentrate on listening to anger, resentment, and rage, you will be unable to listen to your Inner Voice of Wisdom and Love.
So before the holidays begin, give the practice a try. It will produce positive actions and reactions during the holidays that will lead you to happiness!